Elinallee

Dreading Christmas again… It is remarkable that a broken self could even manage to force a sincere wish that the source of pain remain blessed. And yes, have a wonderful day ahead no matter what. Considering that heavy, I emphasize, heavy, slow-burning hurt of humiliation and of being left out (read rejected) by even loved ones, many endure, what more convincing manifestation of reality one could ask for? The more special the moment, the uglier the weight of rejection…trust your truth, it is a shameful understatement…I dread Christmas…as if every thing else was not enough… This is a song by Pink Cream 69… (I

A wish… Bed to a drench of sighs insensate …just another ordinary another day to forget So much for joy, so little for mercy A pinch to be sad; a memory to fade …How was you day…do share your say Gorgeous expanses Of scarred memories, Only a sigh to sum up this secret pain; He weeps down the evening to cease, The unforgiving taste of the vile stain… A very cold stain… Somebody reach out to him... Remind him he still remains… The life is not what it seems Spread before him, A fathomless orange emptiness; A reminder of his unfortunate days Another day, just another day An excuse he is not

(A reconciliatory letter that faded out in the midst of writing this and rising surge of pain at the other unspoken truths the writer could not write…) Dearest ********, Sincerely, I hope you had a lovely night. Mine, was another I do not feel now to be sharing about, for it is not important. Still, as I write to you this letter, it is another lovely day and you are wished another day as beautiful as you are. I honor you in my prayers and heart. ********, there is literally a fathomless depth of things that cannot find the courage to be expressed, but one thing we both know, is who and what I have become today. In this new moment of c