Dreading Christmas again…

It is remarkable that a broken self could even manage to force a sincere wish that the source of pain remain blessed. And yes, have a wonderful day ahead no matter what.

Considering that heavy, I emphasize, heavy, slow-burning hurt of humiliation and of being left out (read rejected) by even loved ones, many endure, what more convincing manifestation of reality one could ask for?

The more special the moment, the uglier the weight of rejection…trust your truth, it is a shameful understatement…I dread Christmas…as if every thing else was not enough…

This is a song by Pink Cream 69…
(If the omissions are retracted, then there is a liar amongst us…a destroyed, broken liar)

A disturbing vision in my mind
The only thing you will find
All my thoughts just fade away
And it's killing me inside

The chaos that I've come to know
It echoes from my head to toe
Wicked thoughts encumber me
Now I'm left to decide

I will never forget how it struck me deep inside
To find out life is only a test as time goes by

I've been haunted by my yesterdays
The reasons for the pain won't go away

We were running to the light
Running from our demons of the night

I'm the man that I've become to be
I will learn from my mistakes
To continue on this winding road
Just as long as it may take

I don't know but I've been told
My situations growing old
Release me from the hands of time
That have kept me behind

When it's all said and done, retribution will have its way
There's a place in my soul where the darkness just drives me insane

I've been haunted by my yesterdays
The reasons for the pain won't go away